It is not easy to forgive. It could be even harder for forgiveness in addiction recovery. Forgiving require people to go against their human nature and not react in anger when people struggling with addiction make a mistake that affects the people around them. It asks us to accept the past for the past. It asks us to empathize. Lastly, it asks us to move on. For the addicts, there is a feeling of self-loathing and shame feels like impossible obstacles to overcome. Therefore, drinking or using drugs sometimes becomes the easier choice.
- What forgiveness in addiction recovery mean
- Know in life you will be hurt or hurt someone
- What are the benefits of forgiving someone?
- What are the benefits of forgiving someone?
- How do I reach a state of forgiveness?
- What happens if I can't forgive someone?
- What if the person I'm forgiving doesn't change?
- What if I'm the one who needs forgiveness?
- Learn to let go
- Conclusion
Without forgiveness life is governed by… an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation
— Roberto Assagioli
What forgiveness in addiction recovery mean
Forgiveness means letting go of anger, frustration, resentment and negative feelings towards another person or ourselves. It requires us to release any built-up unhealthy emotions that we might be holding on to. It’s understandable to hesitate to forgive a person who hurt you or to even forgive yourself, but there is peace and empowerment on the other side that will make recovery easier in the long run.
Forgiveness can be a complicated and painful concept. For example, you may have difficulty:
Dr. Fred Luskin of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project defines forgiveness as “the feeling of peace that emerges as you take your hurt less personally, take responsibility for how you feel and become a hero instead of a victim in the story that you tell. Forgiveness is the experience of peacefulness in the present moment.”
Know in life you will be hurt or hurt someone
During the course of our lives, we are going to be hurt and we are going to inflict some hurt too. We are not going to get out of this life completely unscathed. People are imperfect and will do things that affect others in a negative way. It is hard to be on the receiving end of these hurts. It is also hard to know you have hurt another. We want to know that we will be forgiven for what we have done wrong. If we do not learn how to forgive others and ourselves we will have a very hard time being happy or joyful.
Forgive the past and let it go with great gratitude. It will allow us to embrace the present and future with love, enthusiasm and passion.
— Debasish Mridha
We all have those stories of hurt that we can tell. The hurt can seem as fresh as if it just happened even if it was many years ago. We hold onto these stories and the hurt and resentment that go along with them. They can become part of our identity and they even affect our other relationships.
What are the benefits of forgiving someone?
Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for improved health and peace of mind. Forgiveness can lead to:
What are the benefits of forgiving someone?
What are the effects of holding a grudge?
How do I reach a state of forgiveness?
Forgiveness is a commitment to a personalized process of change. To move from suffering to forgiveness, you might:
As you let go of grudges, you’ll no longer define your life by how you’ve been hurt. You might even find compassion and understanding.
What happens if I can’t forgive someone?
Forgiveness can be challenging, especially if the person who’s hurt you doesn’t admit wrong. If you find yourself stuck:
What if the person I’m forgiving doesn’t change?
Getting another person to change his or her actions, behaviour or words isn’t the point of forgiveness. Think of forgiveness more about how it can change your life — by bringing you peace, happiness, and emotional and spiritual healing. Forgiveness can take away the power the other person continues to wield in your life.
What if I’m the one who needs forgiveness?
The first step is to honestly assess and acknowledge the wrongs you’ve done and how they have affected others. Avoid judging yourself too harshly.
If you’re truly sorry for something you’ve said or done, consider admitting it to those you’ve harmed. Speak of your sincere sorrow or regret, and ask for forgiveness — without making excuses.
“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different.”
Oprah Winfrey
Remember, however, you can’t force someone to forgive you. Others need to move to forgiveness in their own time. Whatever happens, commit to treating others with compassion, empathy and respect.
Learn to let go
Forgive yourself first. Let go of past hurts and direct your spirit to goodness and hope by having gratitude.
— Janet Taylor Spence
Learning to let go is an important step toward being a more joyful person. Forgiveness does not mean reconciling with someone who has wronged you. They do not even have to know about your forgiveness of them if you don’t want to contact the person. When we forgive we make a decision to not let our feelings of anger dominate our thoughts. We choose to accept that whatever happened, happened. We can try to understand where the person was in their life that caused them to hurt us. In this way, we develop compassion for them. Compassion is required for forgiveness. As we understand the other person and why they did what they did, we are able to forgive the wounded part of them that caused us pain. And then we make a decision to let it go – to keep it in the past where it belongs. It is this decision, to forgive, which sets us free and allows us to live joyfully.
Conclusion
These things take more work than we realize. Healthy forgiveness is not “forgive and forget”. Healthy forgiveness takes hard work and contemplation. It requires us to truly empathize and allow ourselves to forgive past mistakes that affected us directly. Forgiveness is a path to healing and serenity that begins and ends with compassion — for ourselves and for the loved one battling substance abuse.
